question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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