just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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