dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
