im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Randomize
