I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
