you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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