East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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