so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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