some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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