I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
