My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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