So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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