I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
