Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
