we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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