Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
