She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
