So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
