I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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