susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think i got beer on your cat.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
