i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
