i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
