Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
