Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Where is the hickey?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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