Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
