apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
