May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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