dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
not ubering you a puppy
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
