Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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