My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
