I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
