Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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