My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
