Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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