I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
