I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
