yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
