She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
she told me i tasted like america
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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