Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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