Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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