its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
