I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
