I look better un-naked...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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