3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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