I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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