hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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