Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Semen is not good for contacts.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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