his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
