Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
