Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
