perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
What a dumb baby whore.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This is the high leading the old right now
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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