you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
