i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
