ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
