I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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